Lip Serviced
The low-point of Josh Whittemore’s last job search was at a chain restaurant somewhere near Fresno “at the exact moment of the economic downturn, just when America was freaking out.
“I went to this open interview at one of the nicer restaurants, and it was just this super-long-line of slutty-looking chicks and douchy-looking guys and when I saw the guys that were doing the interviewing, I just left. When I was in Fresno I could not find a waiting job, and I never did—I just didn’t act the proper way. You have to be a ‘Hey Bro’ Superbuff.
“I applied to places like Red Robin and TGI shenanigans. I had 3 years of experience at a top restaurant in LA.—Figaro. I would go and I would dress up really nice and my hair was short, and the guys in front of me would be wearing Ed Hardy tee-shirts to the interview.”
In the end, he took a job doing pest inspection at a local raisin plant. “Another nepotism job from my family,” he called it.
As of “Today,” Josh told me from his bed in the front room of our house, he is on the hunt once again. Lying there at 2 PM, Josh looked bemused and scruffy, head held aloft by his left elbow. He’d just returned from a six hour shift at the Yorkshire Grill, a throw-back diner downtown, and his wide set eyes drifted back to the laptop on his bed.
Josh, who is 25, has work. Since October, he’s worked six days a week. “I have two jobs. One job [Groundwork] is awesome and pays decently, especially for the amount of work that you’re supposed to do, and I get to hang out with my friends and read and listen to music.”
And the other (Yorkshire Grill), “Initially i was making lots of money at it, but something kind of happened when I went to the Bahamas. Even before that, I started to noticed that i was less well-liked than I had been. On top of it, the business has slowed, they’re not giving me hours, it’s too hard work for how much money you make, and it just bums be out when I get out there.”
“I have made some life changes to where I’m not eating meat,” he added. I don’t really want to support the pastrami industry.”
So here’s the plan: “I’m gonna look for waiting jobs because I have experience and because it’s good money and good hours. I’m also going to reapply for that job in the mayor’s office. I’m also going to call my uncle, who’s a high school baseball coach, and see if I can work with him somehow.” Josh, who goes back to school for kinesiology in the fall, is a born coach.
“I’m gonna send him an email. I’ve been kind of hesitant because I hate asking family members for favors, but that’s what everyone does.” Josh nearly sat up, his voice rising. “That’s how everyone gets jobs, and I hate it—I’m tired of people who have some fly-ass job because of their aunt.”
Researchers in applied psychology write about “impression management” behavior at job interviews. For Josh, this built-in tendency, makes interviews just as distasteful and good old nepotism. ”You can ask anything you want, but is a person gonna be honest? Just for self-preservation’s sake, are you gonna say “Yeah I’m a slow-starter and i have trouble getting up early and I have trouble getting places on time.
“‘Tell us about your shortcomings!’ They don’t wanna hear your real shortcomings. It’s all lip service. They’re asking for dishonesty right off the bat.”
I asked Josh if he delivered. “I lie. I say trite inane bullshit like they want to hear,” and it works: “I got the last two jobs I interviewed for.”
But he seemed contrite beneath his cynicism: “It bums me out that there’s not a better litmus test for employers and employees. Like with a lot of psychological studies—you go into a room and they tell you they’re doing a brain scan, but really they’re testing you for something else,” Josh said playfully.
He sighed deeply. “So now i’m thinking about getting a haircut, shaving my face, printing out a couple new copies of my resume, and walking back up the hill to my old job at Figaro and seeing if I can get my old job back. Because I know people there so it’s gonna automatically make it easier.”
